Badass Softie

What do you do when a problem is so big that anything you could possibly do feels insignificant?
On September 11, 2001, Dr. J.J. Peterson was thousands of miles from home, volunteering with a medical clinic in a rural village in the Dominican Republic. With almost no information and no way to change what was happening back home, someone in his group finally asked a simple question: “What can we do?”
Twenty-five years later, J.J. still comes back to that question when the suffering in the world feels too big to hold, much less fix. He reflects on the difference between control and agency, Viktor Frankl’s idea of tragic optimism, and how we find meaningful ways to respond when some things simply can’t be fixed.
What This Explores
Why having no control doesn’t mean having no agency
What Viktor Frankl meant by “tragic optimism”
What research after 9/11 revealed about the search for meaning
Why small acts of care still matter when the problem feels overwhelming
A different question to ask when “why?” has no satisfying answer
Mentioned in This Episode
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273 
Website: https://www.drjjpeterson.com 
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You’re used to being the person who follows through. So when plans change, it can feel personal.
Dr. J.J. Peterson had just celebrated a year of Badass Softie without missing an episode. Then interviews moved, a new client required unexpected travel, his daughter left for college, and suddenly the plan he had been following no longer fit his life. Instead of simply adjusting, JJ found himself wondering if he was dropping the ball.
But changing the plan isn’t the same as giving up on what matters. JJ explores why ambitious people can be so quick to judge themselves when circumstances change, why being harder on yourself may not actually help you move forward, and how to distinguish between abandoning a commitment and finding a different way to honor it.
What This Explores
Why changing the plan can feel like a personal failure
The difference between changing your approach and giving up
What unfinished commitments can do to your attention
Why grace may be a better motivator than self-criticism
Three questions to help you decide what moving forward looks like now
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Something will eventually not go according to plan.
Maybe a project doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, a difficult conversation catches you off guard, or life takes you in a direction you didn’t expect. You can’t control all of it, but you can get better at what happens next.
Dr. J.J. Peterson talks with wellbeing educator, author, and Self-Care Sensei Jan Raeder about how knowing yourself can help you stay grounded when things get hard—and respond with more intention when they do.
Drawing from positive psychology, behavioral change research, and 30 years in martial arts, Jan offers a different way to think about self-care. It isn’t only about stepping away from difficult things. It’s also about understanding your reactions, recognizing the stories you carry, and building the resilience to move forward without pretending everything is okay.
What You’ll Take Away
What happens when you start taking difficult conversations personally
How old stories can shape the way you respond to what’s happening now
Why challenging yourself can help you better understand what you’re capable of
A simple practice for pausing and examining your reactions
How to practice optimism without ignoring what went wrong
Go Deeper With Jan
Jan explores her M.O.R.E. framework—Meaning, Optimism, Relationships, and Engagement—in Strive for M.O.R.E.: What Wellbeing Really Means and How You Can Achieve It. If you want to put these ideas into practice and better understand what supports your own wellbeing, Get a copy of Strive for M.O.R.E. here - https://selfcaresensei.com/purchase 
You can also learn more about Jan and her work as the Self-Care Sensei - https://selfcaresensei.com 
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A year ago, Dr. J.J. Peterson launched Badass Softie with a lot of questions. What if nobody listened? What if it went nowhere? And maybe the hardest one: Who am I to do this?
A year later, the fear wasn't the thing that disappeared. J.J. changed.
After a year of conversations about ambition, vulnerability, leadership, visibility, work, and what it means to stay human while doing big things, one idea keeps rising to the surface: courage isn't something you either have or you don't. It's something you practice.
Sometimes courage means moving forward. Sometimes it means changing the plan, asking for help, telling yourself the truth, letting yourself be seen, or having the conversation you'd rather avoid. And sometimes the people around you are what make the brave thing possible.
What This Explores
Why courage isn't the absence of fear — or something you have to wait to feel
How doing difficult things gives you new evidence about what you're capable of
Why changing direction, asking for help, and letting yourself be seen can all be acts of courage
How safety and support can make people more willing to take meaningful risks
Why the people you surround yourself with can change what becomes possible
From the Conversation to the Room
One of J.J.'s biggest realizations from the past year is that courage rarely happens alone. The people who challenge us, remind us who we are, offer a different perspective, and sit with us when we don't know what to do next can change the decisions we're able to make.
That's also what's behind Become the Obvious Choice (https://become-the-obvious-choice.com/), a one-day intensive J.J. is hosting with Julie Firth and Sonya Whittam on October 9 in Nashville.
This isn't a conference built around sitting back and collecting more information. It's a small, carefully curated room where experienced business owners and leaders can bring a real challenge, put their thinking in front of people who understand what it's like to build a business, challenge their assumptions, and leave with a clearer way forward.
Because sometimes the next brave thing isn't figuring it all out yourself.
Sometimes it's putting the decision in the right room.
Learn more and secure your place at Become the Obvious Choice.
Mentioned Episodes
Allison Trowbridge: The Company Changed. The Mission Didn't. 
Heather Adams: Building Visibility Without Becoming Performative
Ally Fallon: Trusting Yourself When the Outcome Isn't Guaranteed
Matt Turner: Are You Being Kind—or Just Avoiding Conflict?
J.J. Peterson: Confidence Isn't What Creates Courage 
Jen Hatmaker: The Price of Integrity
Will Guidara: What We Lose When Everything Has To Be Productive
Kris Jones: The Hardest Marketing Decision You'll Ever Make
Raj Lulla: Stop Marketing Like Everyone Is a Stranger
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It’s easy to tell yourself you’re being kind when you decide not to say the hard thing. You don’t want to hurt someone, create tension, or turn a small problem into a bigger one. But what if avoiding the conversation isn’t actually kindness?
Matt Turner learned that putting people first sometimes means making people uncomfortable. After growing Clownfish Events into a multimillion-dollar company recognized as one of the UK’s best places to work, he built a culture where employees practiced giving honest feedback—even when that meant telling the person running the company what was difficult about working with him.
Matt and Dr. J.J. Peterson explore the difference between psychological safety and comfort, why accountability and kindness aren’t opposites, and what leaders teach their teams by the way they respond when someone challenges them.
And the responsibility doesn’t belong only to the boss. If something at work isn’t working for you, Matt challenges you to consider whether you’ve actually had the conversation that could change it—and shares how to approach that conversation with honesty, generosity, and specificity.
Because sometimes the kind thing isn’t keeping the peace. It’s creating enough trust to say what needs to be said.
Learn more about Matt and his work at matthewturner.com.
 
Catch up with Matt:
Matt Turner’s YouTube channel: Work With Matt
Matthewturner.com 
Matt Turner on LinkedIn
Clownfish Events
 
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Ever spend more time deciding what to write than actually writing it?
If marketing feels harder than it should, the problem may not be your writing. You may simply be asking the wrong question.
Dr. J.J. Peterson remembers sitting down every week to write emails and wondering what to say. Everything changed when he stopped asking, "What should I write?" and started asking, "What does this email need to do?"
Dr. J.J. Peterson closes out this marketing series by sharing three email frameworks you can return to again and again. Each one has a different job, helping move a customer forward at a different stage of the relationship. When you understand the purpose of the email you're writing, creating consistent marketing becomes much simpler.
What You'll Take Away
The one question that makes writing marketing emails much easier
The three email frameworks every business can use repeatedly
Why customers hesitate—even when they already have enough information
How to use testimonials to reduce risk instead of simply collecting praise
A simple structure for addressing objections before they stop a sale
Ready to Make Your Marketing Easier?
If writing emails, updating your website, or explaining what your business does always feels harder than it should, the problem may not be your writing—it may be a lack of clarity. Dr. J.J. Peterson helps organizations clarify their message so customers immediately understand what they do, why it matters, and what to do next.
Learn more at drjjpeterson.com.
Resources
Influence by Robert Cialdini
Information Gap Theory by George Loewenstein
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If your marketing feels exhausting, you're not imagining it.
Every week there's another platform to learn, another algorithm to understand, and another tactic promising to help you reach more people. But what if the problem isn't that you need more attention? What if it's that you're acting as though every customer relationship starts at zero?
Marketing strategist Raj Lulla believes we've been taught to chase strangers while overlooking the people who already know us, trust us, and want to see us succeed. In this conversation with Dr. J.J. Peterson, he challenges the assumption that growth comes from more followers and explains why generosity, referrals, and genuine relationships still outperform attention in the long run.
What You'll Take Away
Why your best customers may already be closer than you think
How relationships create more sustainable growth than chasing attention
What happened when one agency traced where its best clients actually came from
Why exceptional customer experiences are your strongest marketing strategy
A simple question that can completely change how you think about growing your business
Whether you're building a business, leading a team, or simply feeling worn out by the pressure to constantly create more content, this conversation offers a different way to think about marketing—one that's built on trust instead of endless attention.
If it resonates with you, share it with someone who's working hard to grow their business but may be overlooking the relationships that can help them grow it.Mentioned in this Episode
Lulla Consulting: https://www.lullaconsulting.com 
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The best marketing isn't about getting people to notice you. It's about helping the right people recognize themselves in what you have to say.
Too often, business owners treat marketing like a performance—trying to sound more professional, more polished, or more like everyone else. But the more you edit yourself out of your message, the harder it becomes for the people you were meant to serve to connect with you.
In this episode, Dr. J.J. Peterson talks with StoryBrand guide and former Broadway actor Matt Wolfe about why your voice matters, how to stop performing, and why the most effective marketing starts by focusing less on yourself and more on the people you're trying to help.
What You'll Learn
Why the best marketing isn't about you—it's about the people you're trying to serve.
How trying to sound "professional" can actually weaken your message.
Why your unique voice helps the right customers recognize they've found the right guide.
The surprising connection between Broadway performance and authentic marketing.
Matt's four-word mindset shift for walking into any room with confidence.
A practical first step to clarifying what you want your business to be known for.
Ready to put this into practice?
One of the best ways to clarify your marketing message is to write a simple one-liner that explains who you help, what problem you solve, and why it matters.
Download Dr. J.J. Peterson's free One-Liner Worksheet and start building the message your customers will actually connect with. https://www.drjjpeterson.com/one-liner
Mentioned in This Episode
Brand3: https://www.brand3.net 
The CEO's Heart for Service Podcast: https://www.brand3.net/the-ceo-heart-for-service-podcast

What if the biggest reason your marketing isn't working has nothing to do with your website, your social media, or your messaging?
What if it's the decision you've been avoiding?
After spending more than two decades helping global brands like Nike and Adidas tell clearer stories, Kris Jones made a surprising move—she narrowed her own business to focus on one specific audience. That decision didn't make her business smaller. It made her message unforgettable.
In this episode, Kris joins Dr. J.J. Peterson to explore why the hardest marketing decision isn't choosing another platform or creating more content. It's deciding what you want to be known for—and having the courage to let everything else become secondary.
Together they discuss why clarity attracts better clients, why repeating yourself is one of the most effective marketing strategies, and why the fear of excluding people often keeps businesses from ever becoming truly memorable.
If you've ever worried that choosing one message means closing doors, this conversation may completely change the way you think about marketing.
In This Episode
Why becoming known starts with making one difficult decision
Why narrowing your message doesn't have to mean limiting your business
How to serve multiple audiences without confusing your brand
The StoryBrand framework and why every great story begins with a customer who has an unsolved problem
The two questions Kris uses to uncover what businesses should really be known for
Why saying "no" often leads to attracting more of the right clients
How repetition builds trust—and why you're probably changing your message too soon
Ready to Clarify Your Message?
If this episode challenged you to think differently about what you want to be known for, here are two free resources to help you take the next step.
From Dr. J.J. Peterson: Download the One-Liner Worksheet to clarify your message and create a simple, memorable way to communicate the value you bring.👉 https://www.drjjpeterson.com/one-liner
From Kris Jones: Download The Five StoryBrand Soundbites That Bring You More Clients to learn how to confidently talk about your business in a way that attracts the right people.👉 https://www.reddoorstories.com/free-resources

Your company probably doesn't have a differentiation problem.
It has a memory problem.
Dr. J.J. Peterson kicks off a new marketing series by exploring one of the biggest misconceptions he encounters in strategy sessions. Most businesses believe they need to stand out from the competition. In reality, many simply haven't decided what they want customers to remember.
Using research from psychology, a famous farmers market experiment, and examples from some of the world's most recognizable brands, J.J. explains why saying more often makes your message weaker—and why clarity is one of the most generous things you can offer your customers.
What You'll Take Away
Why most businesses have a clarity problem, not a differentiation problem
How too many messages create confusion instead of confidence
What a famous jam study reveals about customer decision-making
Why memorable brands aren't always the ones with the most value
A practical exercise to identify the three things you want customers to remember
Whether you're leading a company, building a personal brand, growing a business, or sharing an idea that matters, this conversation will help you communicate with greater clarity so the people you're meant to serve remember you.
If you're trying to figure out what your business should be known for, this is the work Dr. J.J. Peterson helps leaders and organizations do every day. Visit https://www.drjjpeterson.com/ to learn more about his messaging and marketing strategy workshops and how to build a brand customers actually remember.
 
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