Badass Softie

What if becoming a more confident public speaker doesn't start with what you do on stage, but with how well you know yourself?
Award-winning speaker and Spark the Stage author Aleya Harris joins Dr. J.J. Peterson to explore why great public speaking begins with understanding who you are, recognizing the value of your expertise, and finding a speaking style that feels authentic to you.
Aleya shares her Get Real, Get Clear, Get Connected approach, along with her STEAM framework for structuring presentations that engage audiences and make your message memorable. They also explore how developing your skills as a speaker can open doors to unexpected business opportunities.
Whether you're preparing for your first presentation or looking to become a more effective speaker, Aleya offers a practical place to begin.
Connect with Aleya Harris
Website: https://www.aleyaharris.com/
Book: Spark the Stage
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Getting what you want doesn't mean you'll automatically know what to do next. Sometimes achieving something meaningful is where the real learning begins.
Kelly Lyndgaard loved her successful corporate career. But when she discovered the challenges women faced after addiction recovery treatment, she saw a problem she wanted to help solve. She founded Unshattered, an organization that employs women in recovery to create premium handbags from reclaimed materials.
Building Unshattered required more than believing in its mission. Kelly had to challenge her assumptions about what people needed, understand what motivated customers to support the business, and recognize that even positive change can come with unexpected loss.
Dr. J.J. Peterson and Kelly explore the gap between knowing what you want to accomplish and figuring out how to make it happen. From building a sustainable organization to navigating personal transitions, their conversation is a reminder that meaningful change takes both humility and determination.
What This Explores
Having a clear purpose doesn't mean you have all the answers.
Understanding what people actually need may require questioning your assumptions.
A meaningful mission still needs a business model that works.
Moving toward something better can involve grieving what you're leaving behind.
Lasting leadership requires the determination to keep going and the humility to keep learning.
Connect With Kelly
https://unshattered.org/
Unshattered on LinkedIn
Unshattered on Instagram
Unshattered on Facebook
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You have an idea you've been thinking about for years. Maybe people have even told you they want it. So why haven't you made it happen?
Creating something new means taking a risk. What if nobody shows up? What if it doesn't work? What if you're not the right person to do it? But what if the thing you're afraid to create could bring more happiness, connection, and meaning into your life—and someone else's?
After finally bringing two long-imagined events to life, Dr. J.J. Peterson reflects on what he learned from Arthur Brooks, former Disney innovation leader Duncan Wardle, and a six-year-old storyteller about creativity, courage, and what becomes possible when we invite other people into our imagination.
What This Explores
Why we hesitate to create things we care about, even when people want them
How creativity contributes to enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning
Why you might be more creative than you give yourself credit for
How asking "What if?" can open possibilities you've stopped considering
What becomes possible when you create something others can participate in
Become the Obvious Choice
After a sold-out first event, Become the Obvious Choice returns December 4 in Nashville. Join J.J., Julie Firth, and Sonia Widham for a day of working through real business challenges alongside other entrepreneurs.
Learn more: https://become-the-obvious-choice.com/
 
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What if part of your job is to create more magic?
After attending Will Guidara's Welcome Conference in New York, Dr. J.J. Peterson found himself returning to a conversation that had already changed how he thinks about work, creativity, and the people around him. Listening again, he discovered new meaning in an idea that sounds simple but can be surprisingly difficult to practice: making ordinary moments extraordinary.
Will Guidara, bestselling author of Unreasonable Hospitality, helped turn Eleven Madison Park into the number one restaurant in the world by caring as much about how people felt as he did about the food they were served. But his philosophy goes far beyond restaurants. It's about noticing people, creating moments of connection, and being willing to invest more energy into an experience than anyone might reasonably expect.
J.J. and Will explore why the most meaningful things we do aren't always the most practical, why joy deserves a place in everyday life, and what becomes possible when we stop talking ourselves out of generous ideas.
What This Conversation Explores:
Why making people feel seen can transform the experience of work
How hospitality applies to every business, not just restaurants
Why creating memorable moments sometimes requires unreasonable effort
What we miss when every idea has to produce an immediate financial return
Why joy and celebration shouldn't be reserved for special occasions
How small acts of generosity can create more magic in everyday life
During their conversation, J.J. shares an idea for a community event that he's not entirely sure he should pursue. Now, months later, he's bringing that idea to life—a fitting reminder of Will's encouragement to stop letting good ideas pass us by.
Because creating more magic doesn't necessarily require a grand gesture. Sometimes it simply means noticing an opportunity to make someone's day better and choosing to act on it.
Mentioned in This Episode
Unreasonable Hospitality: https://www.unreasonablehospitality.com/products/unreasonable-hospitality-the-remarkable-power-of-giving-people-more-than-they-expect 
The Unreasonable Hospitality Field Guide: https://www.unreasonablehospitality.com/products/unreasonable-hospitality-the-field-guide 
Website: https://www.unreasonablehospitality.com 
Milk Bar: https://milkbarstore.com 
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You have an idea you keep coming back to. A book you want to write. A podcast you want to start. A business, creative project, or next chapter you can see yourself pursuing.
But starting means finding out what happens when the idea leaves your head. What if it isn’t as good as you thought? What if nobody wants it? What if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing yet?
Jill Pickering has spent more than 20 years making creative work as a musician, songwriter, producer, podcaster, and author, including touring with Kelly Clarkson. She’s also learned that you can’t answer every question about an idea before you begin.
Jill and Dr. J.J. Peterson explore what changes when you stop requiring certainty before taking the first step. They talk about starting small enough to learn from what happens, finding your voice by actually using it, recognizing real signs that an idea has potential, and recovering when something you put into the world doesn’t go the way you hoped.
Because sometimes the next step isn’t another plan. It’s making enough of the thing to discover what comes next.
What This Explores
Starting before you know whether the idea will work
Using small experiments to discover what comes next
Finding your voice through making, not just planning
Looking for real signs that your work is connecting
Recovering when the response—or the work itself—falls short
Defining success for yourself as the work evolves
Connect with Jill Pickering
Instagram: @jipimusic
Website: jipicreative.com
Podcast: Take a Jill Pill
 
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We have more language for healthy communication, boundaries, and emotions than ever before. So why can our relationships still leave us feeling so disconnected?
Dr. Lee Long believes part of the problem may be where we put our attention. When a conversation becomes difficult, we often focus on finding the right words to get the other person to understand, respond differently, or change. We may genuinely believe we’re trying to communicate better, without realizing how much energy we’re putting into managing the outcome.
Dr. J.J. Peterson and Lee explore what changes when we bring some of that attention back to ourselves. They talk about the difference between influence and control, the stories we create when we assume we know what someone else is thinking, and why anxiety can make it difficult to recognize what we’re actually feeling.
Lee also shares a simple question that can interrupt those patterns: Where am I in this? Because understanding where you are doesn’t mean avoiding the difficult conversation. It can help you decide how you want to show up in it.
What This Explores
Why trying harder to communicate doesn’t always create more connection
When communication can quietly become an attempt to control the outcome
The difference between influence and control
How mind reading and old patterns contribute to conflict and disconnection
What anxiety and other emotions may be trying to tell us
How “Where am I in this?” can help us choose what to do next
Connect with Dr. Lee Long
Follow Dr. Lee Long on social media: @dr.leelong
Learn more about Lee, his book Wait! Where Am I in This?, his podcast, and his work at drleelong.com.
 
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AI can write, research, organize, automate, and produce at a scale that would have been impossible for most people a few years ago.
But Dan Cumberland thinks the more interesting question is what all of that frees you up to do.
As AI takes on more of the execution, it can create room to go deeper—to spend more time on the ideas that are working, the problems worth solving, and the decisions that need your experience and judgment. It can also force a bigger question: If technology can perform more of the tasks you associate with your work, where do you bring the most value?
Dan and Dr. J.J. Peterson explore what to hand off to AI, how to identify the deeper value you bring beyond the tasks you perform, and why the time AI gives back doesn't have to be filled with more work. Because the real opportunity may be letting technology do more of what it can do so you have more room for what only you can do.
What This Explores
How AI can create more room for higher-value work
Where your experience, judgment, and perspective matter most
How to identify the execution AI can take off your plate
Why getting time back doesn’t automatically mean producing more
How AI can help you go deeper on the work that’s already creating value
Why human judgment and transparency matter as AI scales your work
Mentioned
Pacemark AI Maturity Assessment: pacemark.ai 
AI Training Guide: aitrainingguide.com 
Dan Cumberland Labs: dancumberlandlabs.com 
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What do you do when a problem is so big that anything you could possibly do feels insignificant?
On September 11, 2001, Dr. J.J. Peterson was thousands of miles from home, volunteering with a medical clinic in a rural village in the Dominican Republic. With almost no information and no way to change what was happening back home, someone in his group finally asked a simple question: “What can we do?”
Twenty-five years later, J.J. still comes back to that question when the suffering in the world feels too big to hold, much less fix. He reflects on the difference between control and agency, Viktor Frankl’s idea of tragic optimism, and how we find meaningful ways to respond when some things simply can’t be fixed.
What This Explores
Why having no control doesn’t mean having no agency
What Viktor Frankl meant by “tragic optimism”
What research after 9/11 revealed about the search for meaning
Why small acts of care still matter when the problem feels overwhelming
A different question to ask when “why?” has no satisfying answer
Mentioned in This Episode
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273 
Website: https://www.drjjpeterson.com 
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You’re used to being the person who follows through. So when plans change, it can feel personal.
Dr. J.J. Peterson had just celebrated a year of Badass Softie without missing an episode. Then interviews moved, a new client required unexpected travel, his daughter left for college, and suddenly the plan he had been following no longer fit his life. Instead of simply adjusting, JJ found himself wondering if he was dropping the ball.
But changing the plan isn’t the same as giving up on what matters. JJ explores why ambitious people can be so quick to judge themselves when circumstances change, why being harder on yourself may not actually help you move forward, and how to distinguish between abandoning a commitment and finding a different way to honor it.
What This Explores
Why changing the plan can feel like a personal failure
The difference between changing your approach and giving up
What unfinished commitments can do to your attention
Why grace may be a better motivator than self-criticism
Three questions to help you decide what moving forward looks like now
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Something will eventually not go according to plan.
Maybe a project doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, a difficult conversation catches you off guard, or life takes you in a direction you didn’t expect. You can’t control all of it, but you can get better at what happens next.
Dr. J.J. Peterson talks with wellbeing educator, author, and Self-Care Sensei Jan Raeder about how knowing yourself can help you stay grounded when things get hard—and respond with more intention when they do.
Drawing from positive psychology, behavioral change research, and 30 years in martial arts, Jan offers a different way to think about self-care. It isn’t only about stepping away from difficult things. It’s also about understanding your reactions, recognizing the stories you carry, and building the resilience to move forward without pretending everything is okay.
What You’ll Take Away
What happens when you start taking difficult conversations personally
How old stories can shape the way you respond to what’s happening now
Why challenging yourself can help you better understand what you’re capable of
A simple practice for pausing and examining your reactions
How to practice optimism without ignoring what went wrong
Go Deeper With Jan
Jan explores her M.O.R.E. framework—Meaning, Optimism, Relationships, and Engagement—in Strive for M.O.R.E.: What Wellbeing Really Means and How You Can Achieve It. If you want to put these ideas into practice and better understand what supports your own wellbeing, Get a copy of Strive for M.O.R.E. here - https://selfcaresensei.com/purchase 
You can also learn more about Jan and her work as the Self-Care Sensei - https://selfcaresensei.com 
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